Day two

Well Day Two... and the monsoon hit! Yes, I was REALLY looking forward to my 7km hike into the jungle but rain stopped play... Oh dear! 

So the wake up call 6.15am probiotics washed down with coconut oil... yum and then chatting about the weather and if it's ever going to stop raining... haha 

It is so nice to be here alone, not knowing anyone and going through your emotional crap with perfect strangers who are all going through the same emotional crap that you are going through.  Some are more verbal about it than others, but either way you know you are not alone. 

So yoga at 9.30 after your delicious smoothie, which at this point I was ready to eat anything that they put in front of me... well almost... actually come to think of it, I probably would have had peas at that point. Either way I was hungry! 

Yoga... ahhhh back to the mat.  Now I know why I had done so much to stay off the mat recently.  Because it brings up all your emotions.  I remember standing in the gym looking in the mirror one morning at some unearthly hour with my trainer, and standing there as I am doing my bicep curls crying.  Big fat juicy tears rolling down my cheeks.  I realized that as I was physically getting stronger, emotionally I was getting stronger too.  I was standing up and being who I wanted to be... 

Here its the same. Being back on the mat was powerful and it proved it in my balances.  I was focused, centered and together... it was blowing up a storm about 5 feet away from me but that didn't waver my inner peace and focus that I had.  It was amazing... just to be that centered and focused on what I needed. 

Then off to massage... what better place to be in, a place where it's scheduled into your day to have a massage along with a colonic... (too much info I know).  I realized that the massage was to help get the toxins out and they massage in just the right places before your 'coffee break' (which is what I have nicknamed it).  However I think my own snores woke me up!

While I was having my morning coffee break all these conversations, situations and confrontations that had hurt me were starting to resurface.  They resurfaced in an amazing way.  So I realized that I hide behind food... I would just go and get something to eat to comfort me, and it blocked the emotion behind it.  I didn't deal with it... and that food was festering inside of me because my body wasn;t breaking it down.  

So as my coffee is doing the work of breaking down things, my emotions are being allowed to surface... and jeez did the crap (literally) come out.  The tears flowed again, just like they did that day in the gym. physically and emotionally it all started to come out, and I felt soooooo good afterwards.  Wow it was powerful. 

I realized that if it wasn't for Charlie I don't know where I would be.  He totally saved me on many levels along with two friends. It was powerful. 

I went along with this feeling all day, as part of my soul coaching I am having to hold that thought too... and then it hit me... HUNGER!

That was enough to pull me away from my emotional gratitude and into ... "I. WANT. FOOD. AND. I. WANT. IT. NOW!" 

I have cadburys chocolate in my safe... yes it's in my safe as I have this random thought that it might get confiscated by the detox police while I'm here... although everyone knows I have it. I also have protein balls from Australia too in my bag. But no... I was not going to do it... no no no.... oh but how tempting!

3 hours until dinner... how was I going to last... I skyped a friend who made me see that if I cheated and only I knew, I was only cheating myself and breaking my promise to me, and it felt like I have always broken my promise to me... so I couldn't do it... so what else was I going to do... I know... WORK!  I channelled some messages for my next book and WOW the messages were clear! Clear as a bell... whoohoo... I love it. 

So now, I have only an hour to go before food... herbal steam bath and shower and then whoohoo... OMG OMG OMG fooooooood!

Soup! Veggie soup... loaded with garlic... HEAVEN. Yes heaven

However I have to admit, I was hungry again about an hour ago and did open the protein ball and smelt it... and that was enough to say... NOPE I'm not doing it... so I haven't. It's in the bin where it belongs. 

So Day two has been interesting and enlightening. Oh the joys! Day three tomorrow... Starts with a beach walk... I hope the weather holds off. 

Sending everyone love and some rain!

xxx

Not every blob in a picture is an orb... these are the rain drops!

Comments

[Mary]

Day 2 ..awesome...:-) It's amazing that so much of our emotional is tied up in our physical. As you physically get stronger , this will help you emotionally get stronger. Also as you push those toxins out of your body along with it will go all the negativity and pain which no longer serves you.
I think you should be your authentic self and cry when you feel like it. Your tears will help to cleanse your soul and make room for the real strong yet vulnerable woman who's always been within.
Yes..hunger...that is a challenge and symbolic of so many things. Throughout all your blogs and your words, I have always gotten the sense that you hunger to become the best person that you can be. That you hunger for real true love and acceptance, the kind that you are willing to give as well. Hunger in the sense that you hunger for knowledge and quite possibly are interested in self-actualization. You seem to hunger for more....and that is a good thing. I believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to..
Lol..not that it means much, but I do believe in you . many xo's
PS. if you are actually considering eating peas then I know we are in desperate times! Back away from the peas Lisa...lmao