Day Three
One Word... EMOTIONAL
I woke up feel just down and with a headache I didn't want to move, I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to cry... but I couldn't. I couldn't even work out why I wanted to cry. I had emotions that were surfacing and my rational brain was thinking something, my heart was feeling something else... but then I though... 'hold on it's that always the case'.
While I was on my walk I spoke to the leader about the reasons why I was going through the detox, and I think I'm the only one there not doing it for weightloss... I'm doing it to get me back in every sense of the word. I feel and have felt beaten up, not with anything in particular, just emotionally beaten, so now I'm taking care of me. So with that has to come the emotions that are attached. It's all a letting go process. Something I didn't want to do... until now. I have to do it, it's healthy to do it and it opens the pathway to other opportunities.
After doing my yoga and a deep meditation, I realized I had grown and I was in a state of peace. Serenity, and I just needed to allow these emotions to surface and float away. But it was hard today... I was stuck. Stuck thinking... 'what if?' stuck thinking 'if only' stuck thinking 'maybe if?' I was just stuck.
Finally the tears flowed... OMG did they flow... It took several hours moping, but they started to flow. I'm still processing. Processing the irrational behaviours, emotions, and actions that have happened in life. The patterns that I have found myself in. Then looking at my life as it is now and seeing patterns again forming and wondering how to stop them. Just feeling overwhelmed... with my emotions and how to process them.
However I am also valuing and honoring the lessons that I was given that bought me to this place... the people who have had an impact, the love that I have shared... and I realized that everything is love... just everything. It was a space that I was in just before I left on the cruise, and while I was away, but today I was struggling to find it until those tears... and I found it. I just showered love on everything and everyone... and that was all I could do and I got love back in return.
So it was an emotional day. Not easy... but tomorrow will be so much different! OMG the liver cleanse!
I'll keep you posted!
xx
PS... it's STILL raining!
11 Comments → Email Article Share Article → Print Article Posted on Tuesday, November 27, 2012 at 11:24AM 
Reader Comments (11)
Hello Lisa - we are planning to do the same thing - me and my husband - in January.
Please hold on - and see you in Mars in Norway (Tromso).
Is it possible to tell us which center you are using?
And so you are yourself , SURRENDERING ( to yourself!). Even though- I am amazed at how much you do actually trust the people around you....I am sure there is still some kept within. We all have that sacred place where we cannot go, for fear of exposing our true feelings-being exploited or misconstrued. At least I have! Well- I did :) I have become myself! Not only do I not feel the need to 'compose' myself in front of my mother in law ( LOL). I have decided that if people don't love me- entirely for me- then that's their bad luck. I have also discovered that it's okay to show people how I feel about them, ofcourse I have regard to how they feel- but I more so need the 'connection' in our everyday life to either improve- or MOVE ON! Why should I be the only one giving in a situation :) I have developed pride in ME. I have accepted that sometimes I cannot expect too much, because some people either don't have it in them to give- or don't want to give it in the first place. But , most importantly- there IS plenty of LOVE to go around. So I can still give LOVE without recieving it! But I can also ASK for the love to be returned- and allow myself to recieve it! I just feel wonderful, I feel the change coming on ( I have no idea what it is), but I am ready and I feel very blessed.. Glad that you are taking the time to feed your own soul, and I hope that you RECIEVE and allow yourself to truly RECIEVE all the love directed toward you. AS with the patterns you find are forming- I hope you allow yourself to own what it is that you want, because you have given enough and deserve what you want. Love you <3 xxxx
(((Lisa)))
Out of the blue I felt a strong pull to come to your site and check in on you. Stay strong and flow with your inner thoughts that are going to bring you to a totally new phase of your life. There is a new path ahead and it may surprise you as it may take you away from what you are currently doing. You may have been thinking of a particular change for a while now but have been afraid to let go of what is familar. Just know that throughout your journey, you have an entourage of angels holding you through that are all messengers for God. The key words that I sense for you are surrender, trust, and flow with new ideas. Stay near water as this will bring you inspiration. You must keep an open mind as new light will shine in and light up your path that may be unclear right now. Allow God to direct your every step and treasures will be revealed as you let go of the old and welcome the new.
My love and prayers are with you,
DS
Hi Lisa- :-)
I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself. You always take care of everyone, so it's only fair that you give your sould & body some time to rest.
Thank you for sharing, even if you don't have too. It is very generous of you. (as usual! :-) ) But I also want you to take care of YOU.
Much hugs from freezing Montreal. (Brrr!)
xoxo!
Detached, Unattached, Attached.... Detoxing & unloading... We love you so! Always have. Always will. No matter what, know we are always there... xoxox
I've found yoga and diet to bring up buried memories and emotions, too. Hang in there! It can be terribly depressing at first, and for a while. Then a shift happens and you're happier and more free than ever...unburdened! It's an interesting lesson for me to read of your struggles. I think of you as having it completely together, all figured out, in a state we should all aspire to. I still aspire to appreciate more of what's commonplace for you, and foreign to me, but your openness is teaching me that everyone has work to do, things to get over. Even those we hold up as role models! (You're still one of mine. Even more so because of your example with your detox journey.) Hang in there and keep your promise to yourself. Remember that you're loved by so many lives you've touched and helped, often without having actually met them in person! Love, love, and love. :)
Lisa, I took you class at Lily Dale this year (2012). You are such an inspiration to me. You let me know that it is okay to be human and to serve others through Mediumship and other skills. Keep up the good work on your detox. It only makes you a stonger vessel. I just went through a similar detox, unexpected, but completed. It is a great feeling to have your crap in order so new expereinces can come in. Good Luck and Stay Strong!!! Blessings!!!
Hi Lisa
Reading your blog has inspired me to start taking care of myself! I was my mum's carer for 6 years and lost her 8 months ago. I always knew when the time came that it would be hard on me, as we were very close, but I had no idea how things would pan out in the way that they did. My firm allowed me to work from home so I could better care for her (she lived with me) and the last 2 years were particularly hard. Because I had run on pure adrenalin in that time, I literally hit the wall after she died, and was a mess. Eventually I found a naturopath and she saved my life. I was, and still am, in a huge rut emotionally, using food for comfort, making excuses not to leave the house, even to meet with friends for lunch or whatever, and of course missing my beautiful mum. Your blog struck a cord with me though, and now I want to get back on track, detox and start to feel "normal" again! I know we have to work through everything, pushing things away, ignoring them or pretending we are fine, only makes them come back more forcefully, until you deal with them. Now I feel motivated to do something for myself, for my health most of all and for my well being. Thanks Lisa ~ wishing you continued success... xoxo
Hi Lisa xoxo !
Of all of the love and pain that you shared today, the concept of seeing the same patterns--even still, and wondering how to change, what it means--is what stood out to me...and suddenly I was hearing a fun song that I saved a couple years ago, sung by little six year old, Angelo... his front teeth are missing and he simply ROCKS this song! This will surely make you smile!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-yEelgm5uI&feature=related
Special warm hugs, blessings and understanding xoxo
Our CA sunshine will be happily waiting for you when you come home!
<3 Love, Heike
Big hugs Lisa, enjoy your journey, ha ha and your coffee breaks, was great spending time with you last week, you helped us all sooooooo much now it is your time, look after you as well as you looked after all of us... much love and many hugs xxx
Lisa, it's so hard to break those patterns, even when we recognize them. It's so familar and we are drawn to repeat them over and over again . It's not easy and it takes takes sheer determination and fearlessness to make shifts in our behaviors. I commend you for your tireless efforts to be the most that you can be.
You are like a warrior princess facing, dueling and defeating your innermost demons. Zena The Warrior Princess has nothing on you :-) Seriously..your life is like an action-packed, comedic drama of a movie..and I find myself sitting in the audience cheering each of your successes and milestones and feeling each of your heartaches. You do inspire me...
As for your tears...I think you should cry til you can't cry anymore. You have suffered and hidden your wounds and now it's time to acknowledge each and every one, cleanse them and allow them to fully heal. The sun will come out tomorrow......xo