Recommitment!
Lisa Williams(Posted Tuesday, July 10, 2012)
As you all know, I've been going through a time of healing and growth and it's never easy when we do these things. People either are there for you or they are not… those that you thought would always be there sometimes let us down and those that you didn't even imagine would be there for you, bend over backwards to make you happy… it's incredible. I have amazing friends and they know who they are… and so thank you.
But the one person who is always there for you, is YOU. You are the one person that needs to be embraced and loved. You are always there for you. I know it sounds silly, but you are… you have the ability to pick yourself up from the deepest darkest places, you have the ability to make yourself smile… you have the ability to be so much!
You are incredible. You deserve to be proud of yourself. You have the power to change, you have the ability to do what you want to do. It's about belief and trust in yourself. We sometimes look to others to find love, happiness and understanding… however, we have to find it within ourself first. If we can't love ourselves then how can we love? I remember saying that once and it was such a revelation.
We have to do things that are right for us… do something that makes us happy, or feel alive… what ever you have to do.. you have to do it for you.
What you remember is that you are accountable for what you say, and when people project negative things out to you, it's just a reflect of them selves. So when someone tells you, you are not capable of love, it's really them that isn't. If you are told you are not capable of intimacy, it's them that have the problem with it… so on and so forth. This is what you have to remember. It's also how other people accept you… if they don't like what you do and your actions, then you have to accept that not everyone is going to like it and that its their problem, as long as you are being true to yourself then that is what matter.
I did just that. I had a commitment ceremony for me. I woke up on Saturday and thought, today I am going to recommit to myself. I am going to commit myself to be happy, and healthy and most of all to love myself… Recently what has happened is that everything that was bought for me while I was in a relationship that meant anything to me, has some how disappeared… I was gutted… but it was so symbolic in a way… so I decided that I wasn't supposed to have them. So I figured that I was going to get myself something that was for me, a commitment to me.
Recently I have been so aware of me not wearing a ring on my finger and it felt wrong, I have always worn one, whether I was in a relationship or not… so I decided I was going to get myself the ring that I have always wanted. So off I went on my little mission… and the first place I went… there is was… staring me in the face… just this simple and pretty band… it was what I wanted… Of course me being me I tried on so many others but no… that was it! The guy asked me if I wanted to wear it and I said no… I couldn't… I wasn't ready.
So I headed home and sat in a quiet space outside by my bedroom, and just sat… it reminded me of the ceremony that I had done before when I threw my wedding rings off the back of a cruise ship… but this was about me… I sat and thought about what I wanted in my life, who was part of it, who wasn't… who I wanted and who I didn't. I sat with what my goals and dreams were, I sat with what my passions were… I sat with all the things I needed and wanted in my life… I sat with it all. I embraced I was, a good, caring person who loved everyone and saw the goodness in everyone. It was so powerful…
I sat with this tiny box… and I unwrapped it and took out this delicate ring and placed it on my finger and as I pushed it on I told myself that I was able to love, and love myself and others around me… I loved unconditionally, and that I was going to look after myself and in turn that would help me to look after others. I recommitted myself to myself, to my love and my well being… and as the ring slipped in to place, I noticed a tear running down my right cheek… I didn't sob or cry, it was just weeping…
I sat there just in the sunlight and I lay back on the bed that I was sitting on and just looked in to the sky and then suddenly a hummingbird came by and fluttered right in front of me for quite some time… It was peaceful and magical.
I then went in to the bathroom as I was heading out with some friends, and I put my iPod on shuffle and I was amazed at the song that came on, and the words were perfect. It was 'Long Gone' by Lady A… 'Long gone, she's not drowning in her yesterdays, Well this girl is gone' was the line that hit me…
And then the bridge…
Gone like the wind under Superman's cape.
Like a thief in the night I made the great escape
I'm not the kind of girl that keeps making the same mistakes….
It just reconfirmed that I was on the right pathway, I was not going to repeat history and that I had had come full circle. When I told my friend she said, that she finally has the friend back that she met 12 years ago… It was good to hear… I am strong, I am committed and I deserve happiness…
It's not easy, and trust me there have been some very very dark moments… but you have to know that you are in control of how you deal with them. Sometimes you have to sever all ties and move on with your life and make it about your happiness, not someone else's. You can try to help but if your help or words aren't accepted, if that person doesn't trust and wants to think into a situation that is not real then that is their problem. If they retaliate in a mean of vicious way, you have to know that this is their call, and it's how you handle the situation… and sometimes what is best, is just quite simply walking away… knowing that you will and can let go of that, because it just reflects the space that they are in, but you can hold the love in your heart for them, and hope that maybe one day that they see in themselves what you saw in them… because as I said… what they say to you is just a reflection of what they are feeling inside.
It's interesting because my friend has been going through this stuff and I've had to help her, and it's helped me see so much.
So with that said, just remember who YOU are and know that YOU are worthy of so much.
Be good to yourself and smile… because no matter how bad things get the sun will shine again and it's how you deal with it that is the key…
With love
Lisa xx
Reader Comments (8)
All I can say is thank you Lisa, this was read at exactly the right time for me.
you are so right!!
I needed that......I've had such a bad sting in my heart for so so long, but always hoping for things to change for the better with this person, but they never do, only get worse. Its just so much anger I can't help him get rid off :o( and I just cant try anymore!!!
thank you for helping me see the obvious ........ sending you a hug a cross the ocean :)
I have a quote that I try to follow as a way of life, it is this: "You will find that nothing is forever.... be mentally equipped to meet the impending changes, and sometimes tragedy. How you personally manage the alterations of our life will establish your compentence for happiness".
In other words attitude really is everything. My father wrote that quote and he was the smartest man I have ever known.
Much love and good thoughts are coming your way.
I was so struck when I read your words. I am trapped in a extremely negative marriage. A few years back, I had to quit my calling/job as a labor&delivery Nurse due to a severe form of Lupus and Sjogrens Syndrome. My husband is angry, and feels like he has no control, I know he wants out but we are buried under medical debt, and there is no way we can afford separate homes, lives. Being home, I have had time to explore my other gifts, I have always been "sensitive", or "clairvoyant", but was raised in churches and by a mother who punished any mention of my daily experiences with the spirit world, so I buried it. But when my daughter, and son showed signs, I knew i had to raise them openly and try to teach them what i could. My husband despises this and tells me I'm teaching "my" children to be nuts. Anyways, I pray everyday for freedom, but I hear nothing, but reading this has renewed my hope that i can love myself, and be happy, even when trapped with a very miserable person. Thank-you very much Lisa for sharing, Blessings Be upon you
hey Mzzzz Lisa, I love your new hairdo!! I havent heard or seen ya in awhile. Busy battling demons as we say in this spirtual world we dwell between. I met you in LA a few years ago... the Hawaii gurl with the son you let come into your class. What a awesome time we had. Thank you from the itty bitty bottom of our hearts for your kindness. I read your blog and wanted to write you some words from one healer to another. You are on a quest and it hurts so much sometimes that ya feel like you will implode.... burst from the inside out. I call these moments the "peeling of the onion" quests. Where God is peeling back your layers one at a time and MAN do they hurt. You cry your eyeball out with each peeling. Each one getting closer to the juicy stuff. The stuff we have been hanging on to for years!! The little fortress we have built around our hearts. But we ask for healings, truth and light and Boy OH Boy are we gonna get it. It has to start from us first tho. Peeling off those earthly defenses we have built up. Once all our wall are pulled down, we are humble mush in our Lords potter hands/ mostly cuz we can't move anymore... He then starts to mold us into what HE wants us to be. That hurts again cuz we can try and fight against it but its gonna hurt. We have to remain mush in His hands, trust HIM to mold us and fill us back up with compassion, love, forgiveness of our trespassors, fill back up the void or hole once the ROOT has been removed of our unhappiness. Then we truly have peace that surpasses all of Mankinds understanding. We laugh at the adversities in life and realize what doesn't kill us WILL make us stronger. You go gurl... keep letting that radiant light shine from your rooftops. We are blessed... too blessed to be stressed tee hee. I live in Florida now and we are sending our love and light to you and Charlie. May our sweet Jesus warm the cockles of ur hearts always,,, big big hugs.... c and c
dear lisa everyday when i get up i never ever know what kind of day i am going to have im in a loveless marriage and also having to cope with so much anger and stressed out day from my husband i wish i could run out the door and never return im a happy go lucky person always have a smile on my face no matter what happens i try and shut out the hurt amd sorrow in my heart some days are harder then others depending how he is feeling he thinks he is always right and i have to be a yes and no wife just so i can get through the day without him having the moods which makes our boys homelife on edge i wish i had the courage to leave and get a better life for us i get so cross with myself that i am not doing this as i know this would be the right thing to do he has changed me so much i somtimes think i cannot believe i have become so down that i cannot pick myself up because i have hit rock bottom.your blogs have been a blessing to me and i have always turn to them when i feel i cannot carry on and do not know which way to turn so thank you lisa for your wise words from one uk person to other bless your little cotton socks love love joannexxxx
Lisa, I know so much how you are thinking. I lost both my parents within the last year and I felt I hadn't gotten over the loss of my Father in Law the year before. You are so right that it's okay to cry, my Dad , who was an Army Drill Sargent always told us as kids that we "don't cry".....he was so wrong! Plus, people seem to think that it's easy to get over the drama of suddenly having no parents. I became someone they avoided because it was too hard to deal with me. That was ok, I rose up again and again and yes, I still cry, so what about what others say! You have to live with YOU...not with them! (really strong words for someone who was raised to do for others!) I want to thank you so much for what you did for me in Lilydale, you have no idea how much that reading meant to me. I had thought that since I had already decided to make an appointment the next day with one of the others that you would probably focus on the others that were so wanting you to pick them. I am so glad you picked me even though my Dad was a little excessive in his flirtatious ways with you...But I now fly free from the constant guilt of thinking I was not doing what my parents wished me to do...You gave me the strength to go and I wish you to have that strength as well. I will pray that you are granted peace and love by others to aid you in realizing that it's ok to have self love, that it hurts no one for you to spend time on self love because without loving yourself you can't love others.......it's just not possible! Thanks again and you are in deed welcome to our house in Copper Bank when you come to visit Belize!
Since my husband past away, i'm in the dark...Your words in that text help me find peace. Your are so right, i'm there for me... I'm going to read your often..Thanks Lisa...
Helene..xx