Unconditional birthday love
Lisa Williams(posted Wednesday, June 20, 2012)
Wow what a day…
Firstly I want to thank everyone for their wonderful wishes of love, it's incredible how people just want you to have the best day when it's your birthday.
It's been quite an eye opener, I have to say… people who I least expected reached out and wished me happy birthday and those who I expected or maybe wanted didn't… but as I have said before we have expectations and it's our own expectations that disappoint us, and I suppose I was only coming from how I would have acted when in reality I shouldn't I should have seen it from others. But you live and learn and I "see true colors shining through" in the words of Cyndi Lauper.
Having said that it's been powerful… a massive shift. I haven't opened a gift, except of course for Charlie's… but I haven't done anything like that because it was about embracing me… and I did just that. I embraced and was embraced. I will now tell you what I was doing, and the reason why I didn't say everything last night when I blogged was because this was about me, and i wanted it to be sacred… and it was and continues to be. I woke up to so many messages of love and support that it was overwhelming and then some friends of mine all started to group message and it started the day off to a fun beginning…
What was interesting is that on the way back from Vegas I received an email about an Indian Woman by the name of Amma who was in LA and she was giving her ceremony tonight. She is known for her hugs. Sunday night, I was not in the right frame of mind to open the email as I could see by the subject what it was, but then Monday came along and I did… and I sat there crying… it was what I needed. I was supposed to go out with my friend, but she had some issues with her house, but it was my fault because I kept it quiet that it was my birthday and she verbally slapped me only a few hours ago… haha… but it all worked out perfectly.
I went along to the Hilton and I was part of the beautiful world peace ceremony and honoring. It was incredible. In front of a few thousand Amma sat telling a story about enlightenment and what you have to do to open your heart and soul to it. Everyone listened to her in awe, even though most people didn't understand what she was saying, but when it was translated it was actually a funny story… I love her humor. I had heard about her before by a few people… I couldn't believe the amount of people that were there, and they were all just there to get their Darshan… their hug!
The meditation was powerful and I was transported to a higher frequency and vibration it was incredible… I had been crying all day anyway in anticipation of this moment. When I shared with a few people my plans for the day, I couldn't email or speak about it without crying… I knew it was going to be emotional and enlightening… and it was.
But what was overwhelming and astonishing was the love… the love that you felt in the room, love for others… strangers… They acted in love, in compassion, everything thing that they did was in their hearts. I was in the assisted Darshan line because I'm on crutches (after an rather nasty fall in Vegas - I wish I could say it was done in Vegas style too but it wasn't… sorry to disappoint you - very boring). I was helped along the line by this lady who again was just pure love. You could see the understanding, the compassion for everyone in there. People were smiling and warm. Even while we were waiting for our tokens for our hugs, we were placed in cramped spaces and people just smiled and chatted to each other… No one complained.
With anticipation I started my journey down the Darshan line. Now getting up and down from a chair with a crutch and badly bruised ribs is not the easiest thing, but what I noticed is that I didn't have any pain the whole time I was there… from 2pm that day. I started to feel the twinge as I was getting up and down like a yoyo in that line but the wonderful lady who gave me a hand really helped. I took some photos of people who meant something to me, with me so that they too could be blessed… and I kept them in my pocket. I wanted to share the blessing with those who I cared about.
I started to get closer and closer… and I could feel emotion coming… "Breathe lisa, breathe" is what I kept saying to myself and I focused on what I was there for… that was for enrichment, enlightenment, for me to see the truth and the truth to be shown to me… for me to open myself up to a journey that will change so many peoples lives, unconditionally. That was it… I was there!
Standing right in front of Amma… I didn't know what to do… they sat me on a chair because i couldn't get on the floor and she just looked me in the eyes… with so much love… My head was rested against her chest as she cradled my head and almost rocked me and she repeated this blessing over and over again. I had timed how long each person had got at one point so that I could gauge how long it would take her to get through all those people. But for me… it seemed longer… I cried like a baby… I held her, she held me. It was like she felt my pain, my loss, my love, my everything… it was like she understood. I could feel the unconditional love that was within her every cell…
I just allowed the tears to flow… knowing that I needed this… knowing that THIS WAS LOVE… no conditions, no upsets, just an action of pure love. Amazing…
As the embrace finished, she looked me deep in the eyes and it was like a knowing swept over me… and that was it… I was given a chocolate and a petal… and I was asked to sit on the stage with her and the other people for a while.
WOW… it was like my life running front of me, the things that I knew I had to face, the situations that I had to deal with… and the life that I had been leading but with so much more depth… a life of authenticity and compassion and love.
I, of course bought some reminders of my experience, and with a badly swollen foot and a bag full of goodies I headed home… while waiting for my car, people had been emailing me wishes of love again, and I cried all the way home… because of my expectations in some people and I knew that I had created that disappointment in me… I cried because I could feel the love of strangers who were just pure love… It was amazing.
Then I read an email from a client and I flicked through some of the other emails that they had sent because I had recommend this evening to them, and it was through reading their emails that I felt that I was on the pathway… the pathway that I needed to be on. And the words that really meant something were:
You gave me the spiritual tools that I couldn't find.
I really do believe that you gave me the healing that my soul needed.
Sometimes we loose value in ourselves and faith in what we do… and these were just the words I needed to hear. So here I am… sitting here quietly in my home, Charlie sleeping soundly, Max lying next to me, and Lucy on the floor, my foot with a bag of peas on it…(yes that is all they are good for) writing my feelings of the day out here. Knowing that I am avoiding the washing that I have to do, that can wait until tomorrow… but MUST be done! I haven't even opened the bottle of wine that is lying here saying please drink me… hehe. But Thursday night I will be totally embraced by friends who love me, for me… I will be wrapped with so much love that I know I will cry again and I know that love is unconditional… totally and utterly free unconditional love. And I know that love, because I'm a mother, it's how I love. I think sometimes you only experience it when you are a parent, because I didn't experience it before… but then again I could have been too young… I was only 26 when I had Charlie. But his love taught me about love… and tonight did too… I see that I can give and receive unconditional love and I do… freely.
For me it was about receiving… I give so many hugs out at shows, they call them the 'Lisa hug' but tonight I was on the receiving end of the hug… it was amazing to feel it…
I just want to share this song with you, that really has helped me over the last few months and certainly when I was at my lowest of lows recently…
Thank you for your love and Birthday wishes, I am so blessed to be able to share my day with you.
With love always
Lisa xx
Reader Comments (1)
Sorry I missed your birthday Lisa, hope it was filled with love. I think you are the one "known for your hugs". I enjoyed reading about your "enlightened experience". You seem to be holding on by a thread. You are so emotionally raw, that you are able to feel things so much more sharply and intensely. I'm so sorry that you are hurting and wish that i could send it all away. I know that this is your journey and is exactly as it should be.
Remember:
1. Whoever comes are the right people.
2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could happen.
3. Whenever it starts is the right time.
4. When it's over, it's over.
Everything is for your highest good...........you're going to be okay. xxx