Restoring faith in love
When I write my blog I think about it for a few days, and I sit with it for a while before I open the page and type… Today is no different… however I am going take some of what I wrote in an email and share it with you, (in italics) because I think it expresses and sums up my feelings and the last few days of my life.
It is not a secret that going through a breakup and one as intense as my last one was probably one of the hardest things I have gone through and I am still going through emotions that are attached to it… and I'm not going to harp on about it, because there comes a point where you have to stop wallowing and embrace what has been. Find the beauty in the situation, and see it as a gift. A gift of growth and learning and understanding. We were a gift to each other and taught each other many things. We hurt each other and created pain in our lives, but on the flip side we also laughed (until I pee'd many times) and loved immensely… the pain is all that we feel sometimes but the love was stronger than the pain and so I see the beauty in the relationship and the learning that came with it. This weekend for me was pivotal, a turning point where I truly had to embrace the love that I have had in my life, the love that is in my life, and the love that I am going to receive in the rest of my life.
I spent a beautiful weekend in Northern California, with my dear friend celebrating her marriage to a man that I had never met, but I knew that she was happy and I didn't have to meet him to know that she was incredibly happy and was loved by him.
As I sit here reflecting upon the weekend, I a smile comes across my face and the warmth in my heart fills my every being, they were generous, warm, loving and everyone who was present could feel it… but for me seeing this beauty and being able to experience the celebration of marriage, restored my faith in love.
They came together at a time that was hard for them both. Both having marriage breakups in their past they were somewhat cautious, but they surrendered and allowed their love to flow and within weeks their relationship blossomed and they knew that they were meant to be together. To me they are such an inspiration to those of us who have had battles of love and heartache. The journey is continuing with love and it will twist and turn throughout the course of a lifetime but knowing that the heart is open to discovering new depths of love and understanding for each other will enable you to grow stronger and pull together through those times.
And while I write about love, it's not just love of a partner it is a love of a friend. And this is what I want to share with you. I cried so much over the weekend when I saw my beautiful (inside and out) gorgeous friend ooze with love and passion for her new husband. Knowing where she had come from, and the struggles that she had to face. But also I cried over our friendship and what she meant to me.
We were like two magnets that were drawn together through our difficult but enlightening time, in our life. The universe had a plan... putting us 3000 miles away from CA in not only the same state, but the same town when we both were searching for something to take our pain away. Over a bottle of pink champagne in the true Line and Lisa style we forged a friendship... a true friendship. We don't have to always talk, or see each other, but we both know we are there for each other. We have laughed and cried, we have grown and shared, we have danced and drank together and we have been honest and truthful with each other... that is a friendship.
When ever I see her she always thanks me… her friends thank me, and her new husband and father thanked me this weekend too, for what I did for her. I didn't do anything except open my door and offer her a safe haven to hide away from the world when she needed it. I saw a soul that needed to be supported, not helped, because I couldn't do that… she had to do that, but I saw a beautiful woman with a huge heart of gold. She now… rocks that beauty inside and out and the heart of gold is worn on her sleeve (with caution) but is given freely to those she has in her life. I am so blessed and honored to call her my friend.
But what I don't think she realized, until I sent her a text message about half hour before her marriage vows was that in that time of growth for us both, she helped me. She taught me what a true friendship was. It was the ability to be honest with someone and show them the love and not fear the out come. I thought I would lose a friend… but I didn't… I gained a deeper friendship, an understanding of courage because it took a lot to speak my truth, and we gained a mutual respect but with that, I lost a fun loving house mate, and the house felt empty again, the champagne glasses were in the cupboard no longer by the sink and fridge was stocked with bubbles just waiting for her visit… but that was fine with me… because a chapter of her life closed and the new one opened… The same happened for me.
I remember giving her a reading and saying you will get married again and it was will in four years. She rolled her eyes and said, "I have to wait THAT long" and I nodded…. Four years later this weekend, she walked down the aisle in a sophisticated fairy tail wedding, glowing as she looked at the man who she was going to marry.
Our friendship is not one where we speak every day, we connect through the wonders of Facebook and the occasional text, but I know that she is there for me and I am there for her. It's a bond that can't be broken and it's like that with many of my friends… but she taught me many lessons… she showed me it was good to be honest with your friends, something I have done ever since… She taught me about strength, as I saw her own strength shine through she thought she couldn't fight any more… She taught me to smile through the tough times even when you don't feel like it but it will make you feel better… but this weekend she and her husband restored my faith in love again… making me see that love isn't always easy but you can get through the struggles together by supporting one another not taking over and 'fixing' things and giving each other the freedom to be yourself.
These are all things that we are all deserving of, a partner who will love and not control. A partner who wants you to grow. A partner who embraces your friends as part of their own circle of friends. A partner who embraces your family as their own without judgement. A partner who you are proud of and they are proud of you. A love that is unconditional. A love that will grow through the tests of time. A love that is healthy and free. I know that these are the things I want and will have in my life. I know that I want to marry and have that commitment to my partner and a family… I know that I am not the easiest person to love, but I also know that I will have someone who will give me the freedom, to support me, laugh with me at my silliest times and just say… "oh it's just Lisa doing her thing" and embrace my friends. I know all of these things are possible and they are for everyone.
While your partner is important, friends are equally important for you as that extra support network, when you need to bounce an idea off on them, when you need a shopping buddy who will tell you that your bum looks big in the dress that you love, and just to share a holiday with so that you can decompress and have some fun.
So it's been a life changing weekend… Restoring my faith in love (because I didn't feel worthy of love and pushed people away) and knowing I can have all that I want… and you can too!
With love
Lisa xx
33 Comments → Email Article Share Article → Print Article Posted on Monday, September 3, 2012 at 03:06PM 
Reader Comments (33)
I love this photo for you blog Lisa, ur Beautiful &nice attitude and presence to
(i prefer you with long hair lol )
so
xxx
Sly
Dear Lisa,
I am always a well of emotions when I think about all the love that has come into my life, meeting you, and the love I have always felt that radiates from your true self.
You are love and give so much love Lisa,, What you put out will come back to you, as you are so desereving of feeling all the love that you give out come back to me.
Your name can't even cross my thoughts without tears welling up for all that you have brought into my life, and by me sharing all the love that is comming into my life, my friends now have been sharing similar experiences that I have had and now feel more connected with spirit, ALL because of the love that you have shared with me, and so manuy
Lisa, as the tears fall unto these keys from all the love and gratitude I have in my heart for you, Do not take my words lightly as I wrote the note that I gave you in Philadelphia. YOU HELPED ME SAVE MY LIFE, there are no words that could quantify how this makes me feel.
i AM LIKE A GRAIN OF SAND, AMONGST THE MANY, ON A PATH WHERE YOU WALK. FORTUNATE FOR ME, YOUR LIGHT REFLECTS IN MY SOUL.
Sending all my love to fill your heart.
You are so wise to so many people.....you need to listen to what you tell other people. Love yourself first then love will come to you in endless bounds. xox
Hi Lisa,
Your openness and honesty is so refreshing and heartwarming. It is so hard to break up with another woman. A relationship with another woman is so deep and connected that unless you experience it yourself, it would be hard to comprehend. It's a spiritual, cellular, deep knowing and understanding type of relationship that words fail to explain properly. When I had my first relationship with another woman 35 yrs ago, my heart almost exploded with love, but when it ended I almost died inside. It was not safe to open up about a gay relationship back then. I had to keep the pain and hurt inside and it almost killed me. Being a young closeted teenager in a small country town was not easy. I know that sharing your journey so openly now must be helping so many other woman around the world. Good on you for that. Never stop sharing your heart if it feels safe to do so. You are very brave. Have faith though LIsa, love does come to you when you least expect it. I had given up hope that I would ever find my true love and then out of the blue came the most wonderful woman in the world. I was 36 when we met and I turn 50 soon and I keep loving her more and more each day. Maybe you will get meet the love of my life on the Gold Coast soon. I am looking forward to doing you work shop. CU soon.
<3
Love reading about your life so honest and out there for all. You have indeed been through so much and I connect with so much.of it too but some I share with you through your words and am always touched by your love for all and I know for my part send much love to you and all those whom you hold dear.
You are always lodged in my heart and thoughts at the deepest level.
Thank you eternally for all that you are to us all.
much love and light always
<3. XxxX
Keith p hyatt.........aka thee yorkie puddin
Thank you so much for your blog Lisa. Just got out of a very bad relationship. Loved him with all my heart only to realise that drinking, smoking and friends were more important to him. I travelled half way across the world to be with him and he couldn't make any sacrifices for me. He made me feel unwanted, unappreciated and took me for granted. I realise now that he is a very selfish person, he cares for no one else but himself. He hurt me a lot, but I've learnt from the experience. Your words inspire me and I'm sure many others. I just hope I can be open to receiving the love I deserve in the future. Thank you so much, Danica
Salut Lisa.
Merci d'être passé à Québec pour nous voir.
J'ai bien aimé aller te voir. Je regarde tes émissions et j'aime bien ce que tu fais.
Les expériences que j'ai vécu mon permise de croire en ce que tu fais.
Ma seule déception, c'est que j'aurais bien aimé avoir la possibilité de te faire signer ton livre et de te rencontrer après ton spectacle.
Lorsque tu reviendras à Québec, peut-être passeras-tu du temps à signer ton livre pour les gens qui te suivent.
Merci.