Restoring faith in love
When I write my blog I think about it for a few days, and I sit with it for a while before I open the page and type… Today is no different… however I am going take some of what I wrote in an email and share it with you, (in italics) because I think it expresses and sums up my feelings and the last few days of my life.
It is not a secret that going through a breakup and one as intense as my last one was probably one of the hardest things I have gone through and I am still going through emotions that are attached to it… and I'm not going to harp on about it, because there comes a point where you have to stop wallowing and embrace what has been. Find the beauty in the situation, and see it as a gift. A gift of growth and learning and understanding. We were a gift to each other and taught each other many things. We hurt each other and created pain in our lives, but on the flip side we also laughed (until I pee'd many times) and loved immensely… the pain is all that we feel sometimes but the love was stronger than the pain and so I see the beauty in the relationship and the learning that came with it. This weekend for me was pivotal, a turning point where I truly had to embrace the love that I have had in my life, the love that is in my life, and the love that I am going to receive in the rest of my life.
I spent a beautiful weekend in Northern California, with my dear friend celebrating her marriage to a man that I had never met, but I knew that she was happy and I didn't have to meet him to know that she was incredibly happy and was loved by him.
As I sit here reflecting upon the weekend, I a smile comes across my face and the warmth in my heart fills my every being, they were generous, warm, loving and everyone who was present could feel it… but for me seeing this beauty and being able to experience the celebration of marriage, restored my faith in love.
They came together at a time that was hard for them both. Both having marriage breakups in their past they were somewhat cautious, but they surrendered and allowed their love to flow and within weeks their relationship blossomed and they knew that they were meant to be together. To me they are such an inspiration to those of us who have had battles of love and heartache. The journey is continuing with love and it will twist and turn throughout the course of a lifetime but knowing that the heart is open to discovering new depths of love and understanding for each other will enable you to grow stronger and pull together through those times.
And while I write about love, it's not just love of a partner it is a love of a friend. And this is what I want to share with you. I cried so much over the weekend when I saw my beautiful (inside and out) gorgeous friend ooze with love and passion for her new husband. Knowing where she had come from, and the struggles that she had to face. But also I cried over our friendship and what she meant to me.
We were like two magnets that were drawn together through our difficult but enlightening time, in our life. The universe had a plan... putting us 3000 miles away from CA in not only the same state, but the same town when we both were searching for something to take our pain away. Over a bottle of pink champagne in the true Line and Lisa style we forged a friendship... a true friendship. We don't have to always talk, or see each other, but we both know we are there for each other. We have laughed and cried, we have grown and shared, we have danced and drank together and we have been honest and truthful with each other... that is a friendship.
When ever I see her she always thanks me… her friends thank me, and her new husband and father thanked me this weekend too, for what I did for her. I didn't do anything except open my door and offer her a safe haven to hide away from the world when she needed it. I saw a soul that needed to be supported, not helped, because I couldn't do that… she had to do that, but I saw a beautiful woman with a huge heart of gold. She now… rocks that beauty inside and out and the heart of gold is worn on her sleeve (with caution) but is given freely to those she has in her life. I am so blessed and honored to call her my friend.
But what I don't think she realized, until I sent her a text message about half hour before her marriage vows was that in that time of growth for us both, she helped me. She taught me what a true friendship was. It was the ability to be honest with someone and show them the love and not fear the out come. I thought I would lose a friend… but I didn't… I gained a deeper friendship, an understanding of courage because it took a lot to speak my truth, and we gained a mutual respect but with that, I lost a fun loving house mate, and the house felt empty again, the champagne glasses were in the cupboard no longer by the sink and fridge was stocked with bubbles just waiting for her visit… but that was fine with me… because a chapter of her life closed and the new one opened… The same happened for me.
I remember giving her a reading and saying you will get married again and it was will in four years. She rolled her eyes and said, "I have to wait THAT long" and I nodded…. Four years later this weekend, she walked down the aisle in a sophisticated fairy tail wedding, glowing as she looked at the man who she was going to marry.
Our friendship is not one where we speak every day, we connect through the wonders of Facebook and the occasional text, but I know that she is there for me and I am there for her. It's a bond that can't be broken and it's like that with many of my friends… but she taught me many lessons… she showed me it was good to be honest with your friends, something I have done ever since… She taught me about strength, as I saw her own strength shine through she thought she couldn't fight any more… She taught me to smile through the tough times even when you don't feel like it but it will make you feel better… but this weekend she and her husband restored my faith in love again… making me see that love isn't always easy but you can get through the struggles together by supporting one another not taking over and 'fixing' things and giving each other the freedom to be yourself.
These are all things that we are all deserving of, a partner who will love and not control. A partner who wants you to grow. A partner who embraces your friends as part of their own circle of friends. A partner who embraces your family as their own without judgement. A partner who you are proud of and they are proud of you. A love that is unconditional. A love that will grow through the tests of time. A love that is healthy and free. I know that these are the things I want and will have in my life. I know that I want to marry and have that commitment to my partner and a family… I know that I am not the easiest person to love, but I also know that I will have someone who will give me the freedom, to support me, laugh with me at my silliest times and just say… "oh it's just Lisa doing her thing" and embrace my friends. I know all of these things are possible and they are for everyone.
While your partner is important, friends are equally important for you as that extra support network, when you need to bounce an idea off on them, when you need a shopping buddy who will tell you that your bum looks big in the dress that you love, and just to share a holiday with so that you can decompress and have some fun.
So it's been a life changing weekend… Restoring my faith in love (because I didn't feel worthy of love and pushed people away) and knowing I can have all that I want… and you can too!
With love
Lisa xx
33 Comments → Email Article Share Article → Print Article Posted on Monday, September 3, 2012 at 03:06PM 
Reader Comments (33)
You have no idea what this meant for me to read Lisa! My life feels a bit unfair at the moment, and reading about how you conqured yur doubts and feares about love gives me hope that maybe one day it will be my turn as well. Thank you!
Best blog you ever wrote I love you and I'm happy for the insight from a beautiful weekend;)
So true, it takes a while to have faith in love again but having real friends is the most important thing ever. Although sometimes it's hard, the waiting and hoping knowing it'll happen sometime, especially when you think having found that special person but need to realize that person is not ready yet because of a hard break up. So no pushing no imposing and hoping it'll turn out right is the only thing I can do right now. I wish you all the best Lisa, you're great!
Ah, Panda ,another fine blog! And one that speaks to me as the Blue Moon has me focused on renewal and optimism and forward- looking, rather than backwards-wallowing. Am so glad you had a lovely time. Isn't it nice to just sit back and let the flow happen?
A freaken men !!!
That brought tears! I could feel your words! I now have that love that you describe but it didn't come easy! We have been married for 36 years although in honesty it wasn't always a beautiful thing. Actually a little less than 30 years ago I was filing papers for divorce..I had been controlled all my life, abused as a child and then moved in to a controlling marriage and completely lost "me". I think most people look at me and think life has always been a bottle of champagne and a piece of cheesecake but I think if we are being honest after being together that long it took a LOT of work to get to where we are now.. Not only work but compromise, trust, respect and a deep loving connection that got us to where we are now. You are so right when you say friends are also important! We have to keep ourselves and grow in the way that we are meant to grow. Today I feel blessed because along with the struggles came lessons and those lessons were invaluable! Our love now is so much more than words could describe.. Lisa, I love that you were there and felt the beauty of it all..I just know that you are headed there yourself and it will be yours some day..What an amazing blog! With love xoxo
Oh my darling, Lisa - if you saw yourself the way others see you, then you would know you are one of the most lovable people on the planet! Looking forward to seeing you in October!!! xxx
Hi!
I've just startet to learn more about myself, and more about life and those who no longer are with us..
And now, here in Norway, something have happend, and I can't stop thinking about it.
A 16 years old girl is missing, many many people are looking for her, police do their best, but she's gone...
But I can feel she's alive, and a woman I know, who writes for the other side says the same... but we can't see the place she's at...
I sent you an e mail today about this. But i just have to try and reach you here too :)
Please can you try to look for here? Try to come in contact? Find her!!!
In my e mail i gave you an internet site about her, and you can se picture of her there...
With love
Linda :)
Hi LIsa, I think you touched everyone's heart with that blog, you certainly touched mine. I know how you are feeling, trust me when I say that. I wish I had the strength to be on my own, I know it's what I want. I feel after 32 years of marriage that I am on my own anyway, my husband has worked away for nearly 31 of those years, I just don't feel happy, and haven't for years, but I know it's up to me. You keep telling us we must make our own decisions. I know you will find happiness one day, and I hope at 57 it's not too late for me. I am Sending lots of love to you from Bonnie Scotland Lisa, stay strong. Love Jem. XXX
Dear Lisa,
As read your blog, I kept thinking of the song, "Through The Eyes of Love", from Ice Castles. Melissa Manchester made it popular if you aren't famiiar with it.
Being in a relationship can be challenging at times, with the good times as well as the bad. What makes a relationship long lasting is that both parties must give and not just take. Both people must be able to understand that there are times when one person may need more support than the other one and be willing to support the other one and not criticize. With outside turmoil that goes on all around us, that too feeds into a relationship. Hopefully, both parties will get stronger through the hard times and not go the other direction.
The song that I referenced just happens to be what John and I call "our song". We both have had trying times in our lives in different ways, but after being together for over 15 years, we still see the love in our eyes as well as in our hearts. I think we are good to go and we count our blessings.
I know the day will come when you find a partner that will give you the love that you deserve. One who you will be able to totally trust and give your heart fully to. Unfortunately, timing is everything as you know. Sometimes we need to learn the lessons of life even at a young age, to see what we truly need to see.
I am so glad that your weekend was surrounded by new love. Again when the time is right, you will again find that true love. You will know it when you see the love in their eyes and it's returned to you 100 fold.
Love to you as ALWAYS!!!!
Keith
Hi Lisa, thanks darling we all need to be reminded how important love is in our lives and I too push it or block in some ways but also have opened my heart a lot more in the past years and realise we are all worthy of love and deserve to be loved. Friendships are like water in a pool without it there is no fun and splashes in life..... just an empty space. It's so encouraging reading and seeing that love and true love is strong in the hearts and souls of others...as I sit here with a smile on my face and hope in my heart that we all have our own love and the love of others and believe that special love will find us all one day. Thanks for being so open, honest and sharing of your love and your love for others, big hugs and kisses to you and yours! xox Angelique
Hi Lisa, I am sorry for what you have been going through. I have had those issues in my life as well, but am happily married now. I wish you all the best and want to let you know that I absolutely love the new hair style. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I hope that one day I may have the pleasure of meeting you and can arrange to have a reading. Take care of yourself. We all love you.
Oh Lisa, I think that I have been waiting to hear the words that you have just written. I too carry much pain of a love relationship that has ended. When you are in the thick of the emotions, it's difficult to stop and remember the love that you shared. The truth is that it couldn't hurt this bad, if the love and joy hadn't felt so good. When love ends ,I think it is only natural to wonder what your value is and if you are still worth loving. Every experience, person or love brings you closer to the person that you were meant to be and the life you are supposed to have. In the moment , we don't want to think about what's 'for our highest good". We just want the person we love to continue to stay and love us and for the pain to stop. Everyone we meet in life ,is our teacher and we are supposed to thank them for the lesson they have provided. us. Everything happens as it should. This thing called life..isn't always easy :-) . I'm so glad Lisa that you seem to be feeling better. It helps me believe that I can feel better. After a major heartbreak it's hard to believe that such a wonderfull love will ever come again. But when you witness it happening with someone else, suddenly there's hope. Thank you for reminding me to look at the good and be grateful for the love that has come my way. I was very touched my your words, honesty and vulnerability. I just wanted to hug you :-) but you are too far away. Much Love & Many Blessings Lisa......Summerland soul
Much love and many blessings Lisa.....Summerland Sou;
Beautiful blog Lisa, it gave me the warm fuzzies :-). We miss you in Auckland. Big hugs and love to you. Love Shirley xxx
Just love love love you Lissa, your honesty and courage is an inspiration to us all lots of love and light Linda j xxx
We are loving you then, still, & always. We are holding you in our hearts. We have never let you go. You know this to be true. What is the most known buzzword about you? BELIEVE! You are so starting to do that again; in others, but, most importantly, in all of yourself. You know we are here to be buried in the avalanche, soaked in the storm, to ride the waves, & to bask in the light. The light is always there, behind whatever temporarily blocks the view. Look, realize it, & allow yourself to feel it. So much love is present, & even more awaits! Kiss the Monkey... MomMom & Monkeytoo
Hello Lisa: I am a sister psychic medium therapist, that assists my clients in erasing the Emotional Energy Stamps that relationship issues cause through trauma, grief and loss, unworthiness or a multitude of other circumstances. I have a private practice in Chicago, IL and if you are in need of professional assistance, please don't hesitate to contact me at the email listed: renaenagle2004@yahoo.com You can also find me and message me on Facebook at Renae Nagle or can read my first book soon to be published: The Evolutionary Tale of a Psychic Medium Therapist: Healing Emotional Energy Stamps through the Seven Mirrors of Relationships. Feel free to contact me and let me know how it is best to contact you. Blessings, in Love and Light-Renae Nagle
Again, you've written a great blog. I laughed when you said you laughed until you peed. That has to be a good healthy laugh. Thank you for sharing what you've experienced and learned I know it will make a difference in my life.
Hi dearest Lisa,
Deb mentioned in the Life Lounge that you had posted a beautiful thread and so I came to read it, and indeed you have, besides been simply beautifully written and expressed (you could write a book you know!... lol), it is also a very poignant topic, because what your friend and her hubby, as well as you and her, have found, is what we all seek. Without love we are nothing really and to find true love is the most precious gift we can ever wish to receive.
I am so happy for you that you got to witness such a special wedding celebration, and also that you got the time to re-connect with your friend. It sounds like it was super special and amazing, and it truly warms my heart knowing that were at the receiving (and giving) end of something so magnificent.
You're absolutely right, a love which is unconditional and all-embracing is the most special kind of love and we need to treasure and nurture it if we are lucky enough to experience it. Love is also about compromising and remembering that it is not always a bed of roses and that there are many times where we are challenged and stretched beyond what we think we are capable of, but it is really important to work through those times and forge ahead no matter what, because when you are blessed with a love which is real and limitless, then it is worth every moment of struggle to get through the tougher times, which we most assuredly do and will go through. It is so important not to give up when the going gets tough and to remember the love which we share because it doesn't come around everyday and it is truly a blessing from God... in fact, the greatest blessing of all.
Thank you for always taking the time to share your feelings, experiences and emotions here with us. I too know that you will find love again. Hopefully you won't need to wait as long as four years, but if you do, that's okay too. Life is a journey of discovery and each day an important learning curve.
Hugs and blessings,
Netty
dear lisa i love reading your blogs they have helped me so much im in a loveless marriage and have been for 29 years im a very loving caring person but what i give i dont get back i sometimes think that i will never know what its like to be loved back i wish i could move on and feel alive again you have been so open with your feelings and sharing them with us it makes it easy for me to write this loved meeting you at the meet and greet this year and i loved your show infact i love everthing about you you are such a good person god bless you for being you love love joanne xxx
Of course you are worthy of love !! If you ever have doubts, turn to your pets, best therapy ever. Talk to your dog and observe how lovingly they look at you-dogs in particular are emotion driven, and very open with affection.
Love is so powerful, when you send it out, the vibration will bring it back to you tenfold.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life!
Cindy
Had to write to you again Lisa. As you continue to heal, you are still going to be challenged emotionally. Sometimes you will be on a high, strong and confident and seemingly ready to take on the world .lol and then suddenly one small thing, one thought, memory or incident may bring you back to the hurts, the sadness or the loss. Allow yourself to be human and feel what you need to feel....and don't allow the person(s) and or situation that has caused you discomfort to come and go on in your life on their terms. YOU decide what's best for you. I know that you said that you aren't the easiest to love,.. but I don't believe you :-)
many hugs......Summerland Soul
Hi Lisa, it's was nice to read you.. and it's gonna be to..
there is no hazard in life for sure, i drank your words like a pink champagne lol
when can i say.. that's inanition speak to me actually more than every time .
Personally you give me the fire to write my personal blog in france, there is no comment actually but i persist...
i have certitude, we have certitude that you are connecting to the true essence ! Medium are not necessary connecting with pure energy..but YOU ARE.
I will be so happy to see you in Tampa event, but it's really difficult to organize it for me, perhaps this is not the good time..simply.
I feel secure to express myself in english, something is starting :) you give me the impulsion !
Come on Baby light my fire ! poo i feel Crazy ^^
;) xxx
Sly from Paris
You said
"...I know that I am not the easiest person to love.....
Nope, I don't buy it.. grab a mirror, Lisa, and look into those eyes, at the soul, the beautiful soul. You have SUCH a huge range of emotions, from silly to sensitive to loving and to dead serious when need be. I'm not a medium, but I know, yes know, that you aren't far from finding that forever person.
Dear Lisa,
I too feel your pain and I have had the same experiences in love!! At this point I am Broken cause the love of my life has passed on. I am coming to you to see if u can give me peace. I need to know that he loved me!! After reading your blogs I too feel the same way and I want to be able to love again! I loved him but our relationship was so rocky but I adored him! Please help me restore my faith in Love!!
Sincerely Heartbroken,
Shannon Rudd